John Mew is one of the storytellers in the "Guts, Grit & The Grind" book series on men's mental health. In this video clip, he shares about his traumatic experience in the military impacted him, and how he has come to serve others as part of his healing journey. John's story is in Volume 3 of "Guts, Grit & The Grind," which will be published on April 6, 2021.
https://qedod.com/guts-grit-and-the-grind/
The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – Guts, Grit and the Grind.
In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to two guests, John Marx from Denver Colorado and Sean Adams from Dover, New Hampshire. Both have contributed their stories to a new book called Guts, Grit and the Grind. Regular listeners may remember that Dr Thackeray interviewed two of the people involved in putting the book together, Frank King and Dr Sally Spencer Thomas, a few months ago. Along with a third author Sarah Gaer, they have edited a number of men’s personal stories to produce some significant ideas about resilience and how it works.
John is a retired law enforcement officer who served for for twenty-three years in both a municipal police department and a county sheriff ’s office. He worked patrol, investigations, community service, and was a hostage negotiator for 19 years. When he left the service he felt very burnt out and he actually considered suicide. His article is entitled ‘What is the cost to protect and serve’. This is used by a number of law enforcement agencies as a motto. John loved his career but feels that people don’t understand the toll it can take. Officers have to respond to horrific situations, crimes and hatred. In John’s case, his career took its toll but he was resilient and able to seek support.
Sean graduated from the Thompson School of Business at the University of New Hampshire with an Associate’s degree in Business Management in 2009. Since then he has worked in a variety of roles before becoming an inspirational speaker. He had a ‘pretty normal childhood’ but there were some mental health issues within his close family. When he was 21 he had his first depression. He didn’t understand what it was and why it had happened. After four rounds of deep, dark depression he started having suicidal thoughts and finally sought help. His Father warned him of the danger of using medication so he took the spiritual path. Using things like Meditation and Reiki he started to move through his emotions and relearn how to think.
Dr Thackeray asked both guests whether they thought it was myth that men don’t know how to talk about their emotions. John, who is from the baby boomer generation grew up in the ‘man up and tough things out’ era. His career in the Police also involved considerable discipline. He feels that first responders, both men and women, have pressure put on them and that there is a need to act differently and become self more aware. Sean is from a different generation and is the youngest writer in the book. He feels that the sports world can also be very judgmental but now realises the need to make connections, not to get stuck in anything and to express yourself and move through things.
Dr Thackeray asked whether we have always had this conversation but did it in a different way. John feels that resilience should be thought of as comprehensive wellness. In the environment he served in, physical fitness is incredibly important. Many people feel it will solve all their problems but John thinks that if we don’t deal with the other components of our lives, intellectual or cognitive, emotional and spiritual components, we are losing parts of the foundation that makes us strong. Getting back in touch with these are what people do to heal and balance along with the need to raise awareness and do the hard work to be self aware.
During his earlier podcast, Frank King reflected that suicide is not talked about enough. John feels that we should we be looking out for people who seem to be OK. He lost a peer to suicide and cites the fact that worldwide it is a huge problem that gets overlooked in medical circumstances such as Covid. In the US potential law enforcement officers are vetted for the profession through screening and evaluation. There should be a low rate of suicide and depression but this isn’t the case. John feels it’s important to seek out resources and and learn about it before its needed whether for yourself or someone else.
Sean feels the effects of depression can be really trivialised. Someone like Robin Williams can seem outwardly happy and successful but inwardly there are problems. He feels that you can’t see what someone is thinking so you need to ask how they are really feeling. Sometimes people just need someone to acknowledge their existence. John thinks that if you really concerned about someone you just need to come out and ‘are you thinking about killing yourself’ so you can start really powerful conversation.
Both John and Sean had issues and faced challenges but both have come through to give a message of hope. John thinks we all have different levels of resilience but need to know that we don’t have to go it alone. The book talks about getting support and building a support system before you need it. Everyone needs someone, and someone will be there for you but you need to have the support in place. Sean feels that resilience is for everyone but everyone’s path is different. People need to think about what their goal is and where they want to be but they need to be patient. Everyone has ups and downs but there is hope. We just need to be open, ignore any stigma and allow people to help.
You can find out more at:
Guts, Grit & The Grind: A MENtal Mechanics MANual- Advanced Mechanics in Preventative Maintenance, or LinkedIn
You can find out more about John Marx from the Law Enforcement Survival Institute at www.CopsAlive.com His book is Armor Your Self™: How to Survive a Career in Law Enforcement.
You can contact Sean Adams through linkedin.com/in/sean-adam-054b036b
You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Guts, Grit and the Grind here.
Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available and there is an option to sign-up to receive our podcast episodes on release.
Our full blog archive is also available and you can sign-up to receive these on a weekly basis.
The Stories, Science and Strategy to Help Men Build and Maintain a Life Worth Living
DENVER (August 6, 2020) — Today United Suicide Survivors International (United Survivors) announces the publication of the second book in a series to help support men’s mental health, “Guts, Grit & The Grind: A MENtal Mechanics MANual - Advanced Mechanics in Preventative Maintenance” edited by Sally Spencer-Thomas Psy.D., Sarah Gaer, MA and Frank King and published by BDI Publishers. The book officially launches on August 16, 2020 with pre-orders available now on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Increasingly, guys are embracing the fact that mental health is an important part of men’s health. This self-help book gives men the tools to increase the psychological hardiness they need to face tough times. Readers will be inspired by stories of resilience and transformation.
A blend of a “Chicken Soup for the Man’s Soul,” and a therapist’s workbook, Guts, Grit & The Grind is a collection of men’s stories of coping with trauma, addiction, depression and more. The format is like an automobile owner’s manual, using car metaphors many men can relate to in "preventative maintenance.”
“When life gets stressful, the first things to go are often those ‘non-urgent and important’ parts of our lives -- the things that keep us well,” said Sally Spencer-Thomas, psychologist and co- editor, “This book reminds guys to keep these action steps front and center.”
“Many books are written by remarkable people, but Guts, Grit, & The Grind is a collection of essays from regular guys who have remarkable wisdom they’ve gained through lived experiences or professional expertise,” says Peter Dudley, one of the storytellers in the series. ”I hope these books show that the unwritten rules of manhood aren’t actually rules, and that strength comes not from bearing the unbearable but from sharing the unsharable. The vulnerability in these essays makes mental health approachable and discussable. I hope it gives people in distress a light in the fog.”
“As a former NFL player, I know what happens when tough guys try to power their way through
emotional challenges. It just doesn’t work,” says Dwight Hollier, former linebacker for the Miami
Dolphins and Indianapolis Colts and current Senior Associate Athletics Director for the
University of North Carolina. Guts, Grit & The Grind gives men another pathway through their
pain.”
"The difference between hard times and unbearable times is often believing you are alone in
your pain," said Sarah Gaer, co-editor of Guts, Grit & The Grind. "By walking alongside our
courageous storytellers, readers feel the healing power of men sharing their experiences and
lessons learned."
“Being from the South, an area of the US where people take great joy in sharing oral history, as
entertainment, as well as education, I understand the power of storytelling, especially among
men,” reflects co-editor and comedian Frank King. “Guts, Grit & The Grind has tapped that
power, featuring stories of the struggles of men, by men, for men, emphasizing most
importantly, how these men are coping.”
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Sean Adam, Bart Andrews, Ph.D., Dr. Dennis Archambault,
Johnnie Calloway, Peter Dudley, Efrem Epstein, Brendan Fitzgerald, Glenn Freezeman, Guy
Giard, Mark Jon Gottschalk, Dwight Hollier, Gabe Howard, Einar Jensen, Paul Lavalee, John
Marx, Jerry Meddock Jr., Rick Strait, Joe Williams.
CHAPTERS of Guts, Grit & The Grind: A MENtal Mechanics MANual: Advanced Mechanics in Preventative Maintenance include: Chapter 1: Find Your “Classic Car Club” Community; Chapter 2: Family is Your Pit Crew; Chapter 3: Friends Refuel Us; Chapter 4: Tune Up with Total Wellness; Chapter 5: Making Meaning and Zen Motorcycle Maintenance.
ISBN-10: 1946637084; ISBN-13: 978-1946637086
To learn more, please visit www.GutsGritGrind.com and follow along on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Pinterest, YouTube and LinkedIn. The book (or eBook) is available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Media Contact:
Susan J. Farese, SJFCommunications - sjfcommunications@gmail.com Phone: 408-398-5940
A portion of the proceeds benefits the 501(c) 3 nonprofit United Suicide Survivors International.
ABOUT UNITED SUICIDE SURVIVORS INTERNATIONAL (UNITED SURVIVORS)
United Suicide Survivors International is an independent international organization that serves as a home for people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families — collectively known as people with lived experience with suicide. Our goal is to leverage their expertise for large scale change. For more information, visit www.unitesurvivors.org or follow along on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.
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Dr. DeQuincy Lezine is one of the storytellers in volume one of “Guts, Grit & The Grind," a book series akin to a “Chicken Soup for the Man’s Soul.” DeQuincy is a psychologist, a suicide attempt survivor and a professional speaker. He focuses on post-traumatic growth after a suicide crisis. "I think it's really unique to have such a collection of men sharing their stories...things that are open, authentic, vulnerable...and how you transform that into strength..."
Read MoreListen to our foreword by Dr. Paul Quinnett, read by one of our editors Frank King.
